


Forever

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-15
Updated: 2003-11-15
Packaged: 2018-12-27 15:04:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12083544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin and Brian rediscover love in Paris.





	Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Brian had really left. He was really gone. Justin looked around the diner desperately looking for the dark haired man who made his heart flip. He knew in his mind that he was gone. But his heart had yet to accept the fact. Brian Kinney was gone. 

 

Brian moved about his new penthouse apartment searching for something. He knew what he was looking for and it was not here. HE was still in the 'burg. Brian had walked away and left him there. Now he had to figure out how to get him out of his head. He knew he would never get the boy out of his heart. 

 

Brian had been gone for a month now. He had moved to New York to work for a new agency that had just started up. He was their star executive. HE was somebody. He should be on top of the world. Yet it all felt empty. He felt empty inside. He missed Justin. Not that he would ever admit that to himself or anyone else for that matter. 

 

Justin reached for the ringing phone absentmindedly. "Hello?" There was silence on the other end. "Hello is anyone there? Brian is that you?" Justin asked when he heard the deep breathing on the line. "Bri? Talk to me. What's wrong?" The line went dead then and Justin knew without doubt that it had indeed been Brian on the other end. Brian had made these late night calls a lot since he left. 

 

Justin had decided to finish school and then work as an graphic designer. He was hoping against hope he could find a job in New York. He wanted to at least be in the same city as Brian.Even if he never saw Brian. But he knew he would. He could not stay away from him. And he knew that no matter how much Brian denied it he could not stay away him either. 

 

Justin had managed to make it a whole week without trying to call Brian. He knew that if he were ever going to make it this next year he would have to control himself. He also knew that Brian wanted him to move on and go out and have fun. He did not think he would ever have fun without Brian being here. But he was determined to move on and show Brian that he could live without him. That was the last thing Brian had said to him. 'Move on and show me you can make it without me.' Justin thought about how if he did that then Brian would want him even more. 

 

Brian sat at his desk and thought about Justin. He could not seem to get him out of his mind. He picked up the picture of Justin he kept on his desk. He lovingly caressed that beautiful face. That sunshine smile. The smile that made his heart melt. How could I have told him to prove to me he could make it without me? I don't want him to make it without me. I want him here with me. NOW. But I cant let him know that. He has to prove to himself he can make it and the only way to get him to do that is to make him prove it to me. Hell he loves to show me how wrong I am. If he only knew how wrong I was not to tell him I love him before I left. Brian reached for the phone and dialed Justin's cell phone before he realized what he was doing. 

 

"Hello" Brian heard that voice and could not stop the words. "I love you." He put the phone back in the base and waited for it to ring again. 

 

Justin stood in the middle of Liberty Ave in stunned silence. Did I just hear what I thought I heard? he thought to himself. Oh my god. Brian just said he loves me. And there is noone here to tell. He looked around and saw noone he knew. Running as fast as he could he headed toward the diner. Bursting through the door he saw Emmett and Michael at the counter talking to Debbie. He just stood there in the door and said "Brian called. He told me he loves me." Michael looked at him like he had lost it. Debbie just shook her head, she always knew that man loved him. Emmett ran over and took him in his arms. Leading him to a booth he asked "Well did you say it back? Tell me everything." 

 

It was then that Justin realized he had not said it back. "Oh no. He hung up and I did not call him back. Shit he probably thinks I don't love him." He grabbed his phone and hit the speed dial for Brian's private line. 

 

Brian had sat there for what seemed like forever before his private line rang. He was almost beginning to think he had been wrong and Justin did not love him. He reached for the phone and smiled when he heard Justin's voice. 

 

"Brian, I love you too. Oh god I love you I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. Are you there? Please say something so I know you really meant it. Please Brian." Silence was what he heard. Michael grabbed the phone and told Brian "Damn it Brian tell Boy Wonder that you love him and then fucking do something about it. I am tired of this shit." He handed the phone back to Justin and Justin heard Brian laughing. 

 

"Brian?" he asked. 

 

"Justin I meant it. I love you. I really love you. Now don't get any ideas this does not change anything. I still want you to make it on your own. I want you to have a life outside of us. I want you to make a life for yourself. I want you to have a good life. And I want you to know you can make it on your own, without me. You need to do this for you and for me. But most of all for us. Just don't throw away your future for me. Be successful. For me. Let me know you can be a man and that you don't need me to make you complete." 

 

Justin thought about all Brian had said and made a promise that he would do just what Brian asked of him and then he would do whatever it took to make Brian want him. He spent the next year finishing school and finding a job that was perfect for him. He took a position for a computer graphics firm and was due to spend 6 months in Paris. Now he just had to find a way to tell Brian. 

 

Brian answered the phone after it rang for what seemed like days. He heard Justin's voice and thought he was dreaming. The last time he had talked to him was the day he told him he loved him. He had known that he had to not call until Justin had had a chance to do what he needed to. 

 

"Brian are you there? Its Justin. I need to talk to you." Brian was instantly awake. "Justin I am here. Whats up?" 

 

"Brian I am leaving for Paris in 2 weeks and I wanted to let you know. I am doing what you asked of me. I will be gone for 6 months. I just wanted you to know." Justin was saying. Brian was having a hard time understanding what he had said. He was still high from the night before. 

 

Justin waited a minute for Brian to answer and then he heard the other man's voice. He knew Brian was not alone. He should have known that even though Brian had said he loved him he would still fuck anything. It should not hurt this much. He felt the tears start to fall from his eyes and he could not stop it. 

 

"Sorry I did not know you had company Brian. I will let you get back to your guest." he said as he slammed the phone down. 

 

Brian looked at the man lying next to him and could not believe what he saw. He saw a blonde blue eyed twink. Just like Justin. Only he was not Justin and noone would ever compare with Justin. Ever. Justin held his heart. 

 

The boys had planned a going away party for Justin and he knew he had to keep his spirits up. This was good for him. He had to do this for himself not Brian. The party was winding down when the door opened and he saw him standing in the door. He was waiting. Just waiting for the young man to make his way to him. When Justin did not move he went to him. 

 

Brian Kinney. He looked just like he had when he left a year ago. No that was wrong he looked better if that was possible. Dressed in a black and silver sheer shirt and black leather pants with black Prada boots he looked like a jaguar on the hunt. The shirt clung to his chest and flat stomach and the pants caressed his tight ass and cock. Justin knew he would be hard. He knew that he was the reason Brian was here. And he knew Brian was the reason he was alive. He felt that electricity when Brian looked at him. 

 

Brian reached out and took Justin in his arms and kissed him like a man who had never known such passion. The kiss went on forever. Justin finally pulled away when he started to feel lightheaded from lack of oxygen. He looked up into Brian's eyes and was overcome at the emotion he saw in them. And then he said it. 

 

"Justin I love you." Justin's heart started to pound and he forgot all about everyone else being there. He put his lips to Brian's once again and whispered back. "I love you too Brian." They started to sway to the music as the music began. They spent the next hour locked in each other's arms. Nothing could keep Brian from having him this night. Nothing. Noone. Justin was his and he would make sure that the boy knew it. Then he would let him go. He just hoped that Justin would find his way back to him someday. 

 

Brian took Justin by the hand and led him out the door. He led him outside to the car he had rented. They drove in silence back to Brian's hotel room. They had not touched since they got in the car. As soon as the elevator door shut Brian pulled him to him and pushed the stop button simultaneously. He had waited long enough. He wanted to feel Justin around him. He wanted to taste him. He never wanted to forget how Justin felt when he was in his arms. He loved this kid and he had to let go. But not before he made him his in all ways. It had been so long since he had held him. Justin was already panting for breath. And they were still fully clothed. Brian breathed in the sent of him. Justin smelt like apples and paint. He smelt like vanilla and cigarettes. Like fresh laundry and the outdoors. Brian knew he would never forget how he smelt for as long as he lived. Noone had ever smelt so good. 

 

He felt Justin's hands on his cock through his pants and knew this would be quick. But he also knew that they had all night. He had checked and knew that Justin's flight left at noon the next day. He could sleep on the plane. He would not sleep tonight. He had arranged for Emmett to finish any last minute packing Justin had left to do. This was their night. And Brian want to burn the image of Justin into his soul tonight. He knew that by doing this he stood a chance to lose him. Forever. Yet he also knew that Justin needed to do this in order for him to really know if he loved Brian. Life had a funny way of making you see how wrong you could be or how right. 

 

His thoughts turned to what Justin was doing to him. He felt the boys mouth around his throbbing cock. He was so warm and wet. He was licking from head to shaft and then back again. He took all of him in at once and Brian felt himself cum. He could not stop it. He had lost all control where Justin was concerned. And he did not think he would ever be able to control himself in Justin's presence. He pushed the button to start the elevator again. He wanted to get into the room so he could have his way with Justin. And he planned to take his time and enjoy every inch of him. 

 

As the doors opened Brian pulled Justin out never breaking the kiss. He moved them towards the door and fumbled with the key. Upon opening the door he lifted Justin and carried him to the bed. Justin left a trail of clothing as they walked. He was completely naked by the time Brian dropped him on the bed. He reached out to touch Brian and Brian backed away slightly. 

 

"Justin I want you to understand that I know why you are leaving. I want you to know that I will always be here waiting for you to come back. No matter how long that takes. And when you are back it will be just the two of us. I love you Justin Taylor and I will wait for you forever." 

 

"Brian I love you and you will not have to wait forever. Hell I would stay now if you asked. But I know you wont so tomorrow I will get on that plane. But you have to talk to me. Phone me, write me, email me. I just need to know that you are alive and ok. I want to know that you still want me to come back. I can get through anything as long as I know you love me." He smiled at Brian and Brian knew he would do whatever it took to make this man feel loved and cherished. 

 

Brian slowly undressed as Justin watched. Justin was hard and sweating. He loved Brian's body. In his eyes it was perfect. He watched as Brian removed his shirt then his pants. As he slid the pants down his thighs Justin could see his cock hard and throbbing. He wanted to feel that big thick cock up his ass tonight. He did not want to be gentle. He wanted to fuck. And he wanted to fuck Brian Kinney. 

 

Brian moved to the bed with catlike grace and pushed Justin back onto the pillows. He kissed him with a ferocious need. He moved from his mouth to whisper in his ear "I love you Justin. Now lie back and enjoy a night you will never forget. You are mine. Don't you ever forget it. You belong to me. No matter who you are with you belong to me." 

 

Justin smiled and waited for Brian to begin his assault. Brian moved to lick Justin's neck and then down to his chest. He slowly took one nipple in his mouth and began to slowly suck on it. Running his tongue over the erect nipple. He felt Justin's heart race as he continued to play with his nipples. He moved down Justin's stomach until he reached the belly button. He flicked his tongue in and out of the hole. Justin moaned his name and Brian moved further down to take the boy's cock into his mouth. He slowly takes the full length of Justin into his mouth at once. He hummed as he slid his tongue up and down the shaft. He loved the feel of the head of Justin's dick on the back of his throat. He loved how he could taste the pre-cum. He loved everything about Justin. He felt Justin starting to reach orgasm and he pulled away and turned his lover over. He licked down Justin's back until he reached his ass. What a beautiful ass he had. He spread the cheeks apart and buried his face inside. He played with Justin's hole for a moment before inserting his tongue inside. Justin caught his breath as Brian's tongue entered him. In and out. He was begging now. 

 

"Brian.....oh....ummmm...Bri....please....please I need to....um......oh..... feel....uhhhhhh... you inside me .......NOW....." Brian did as his lover asked and pushed his latex covered cock into that beautiful ass. The only lube was from his tongue. He pushed all the way in and then pulled almost all the way out. He knew he could not stop himself and he reached for Justin's cock. He stroked him as fast as he could and both men reached orgasm together. 

 

Justin lay in Brian's arms. Brian kissed the top of his head and promised him "Justin I want you to know that I will not be with anyone else until you come back." 

 

Justin could not believe what he was hearing. "Brian 6 months is a long time. A lot can happen in that time. I want you to be you. I want you to fuck lots of men. I want you to enjoy your time. So that when I do come home you can commit to me. To us. No regrets remember. I will do the same. This is our time to learn about ourselves apart from each other. I love you Brian Kinney. Always have. Always will. Nothing and noone will ever change that." 

 

The lovers spent the night exploring each other's body and soul. Brian took Justin to Deb's to get his luggage and to say his goodbyes. Everyone was there. Justin made his rounds to say his final farewells. 

 

Stopping at Michael first he hugged him and said "Michael, you make sure he is ok. Don't let him fall apart while I am away. Make sure he is happy. He will let you in. I will miss you Michael." 

 

Moving on to Ted he shook his hand and then pulled him in for a hug. "Teddy. I love ya. You take care of Emmett for me. He will need you to give him the kleenex when I leave. And don't work him too hard. He needs a social life. Emmy needs love. Make sure he gets it." 

 

He looked to Emmett and started to cry. Emmett pulled him into a bear hug that crushed him. "Emmett I can't breathe. Ok that is better. I will miss you my love. Promise to write me and tell me about all your new loves? I will call you at least twice a week and tell you of all the hot French men I meet. I may even find one with a heart as big as yours. Keep your flame bright. I love you." Justin kissed Emmett and wiped away his tears. 

 

He moved to Mel and kissed her on the cheek. "Melanie. You take care of Linds and Gus. You tell him everyday I love him. And make sure he uses that art set I gave him. He has talent. I love you." 

 

Lindsay was next. How was he going to get through this. "Lindsay I may miss you most next to Brian. You are always there when I need to talk. You always let me lean on you. I love you. You make sure Gus knows all about me. Don't let him forget me. And you make sure Brian is ok. He listens to you. And he respects you." He kissed her and moved onto Debbie. 

 

"Debbie you have been like a mom to me. Thank you for all you have done for me. You mean so much to me. I will miss you so much. Who will call me Sunshine in Paris? Will you let me call you once a week and just call me Sunshine? I love you Debbie." 

 

He said his good byes to Vic and Ben. Then it was on to his mom. 

 

"Look at my son. A big man now. Moving to Paris. Oh Justin I am so proud of the man you have become. I love you." Jennifer told him. 

 

"Mom stop or you will make me cry again. I love you too. I will call you and let you know when I am settled. Thank you mom." 

 

He looked around at the people who had become his family one last time. Then he looked to Brian and took his hand and moved out into the world. Brian stayed at the airport until his plane left. They had kissed goodbye at the gate and Justin saw the tears in Brian's eyes. Justin was glad he had worn Brian's shirt and left his with Brian. He sat on the plane comforted by the smell of Brian. He put his headphones on to listen to Moby and as he was searching in his bag for it he found the cd Brian had made for him. Pressing play he heard Save the Last Dance. He sat back in his seat and closed his eyes. 

 

He awoke from dreams of Brian as they were landing in Paris. He had slept the whole flight. He must have really been worn out from his last night with Brian. He looked around as he stepped off the plane and realized just how much he missed Brian. Paris would be so much better if he were here. 

 

It had been days since Justin left and Brian felt like he was losing his fucking mind. He could not get him out of his thoughts and dreams. He needed to let go of him and he did not know how to do that. Grabbing his jacket he headed for the bars. Maybe a good fast fuck would get Justin out of his head. He sat at the bar and surveyed the crowd. Not one person here who could make him forget the blonde man that infiltrated his every thought. He tried as hard as he could but noone compared to Justin. Brian left the bar alone for the 4th day in a row. He could not bring himself to fuck some nameless trick to try to forget Justin. He wanted Justin. No one else. He headed back to the apartment and saw the message light blinking. He pushed the play button and stopped dead when he heard Justin's voice. 

 

"Brian it's Justin. I guess you aren't home. I just wanted to let you know that I am settled and that I start my new job tomorrow morning. Paris is beautiful. I wish you could see it with me. I love you. Call me when you get the time. " Brian quickly jotted down the number Justin left. He sank down in to the chair behind him and willed himself not to call him yet. He needed to collect his thoughts before he talked to him. He did not want Justin to know he was having a hard time getting over his leaving. 

 

Two and a half hours and several replays of the message later he called Justin back. He did not realize he was holding his breath until Justin answered. 

 

"Justin. Hi its Brian. How are you?" Brian felt a little silly asking that but he still did not know where to go with this call. Justin thought he heard sadness in Brian's voice. But he knew that could not be true. Brian was out every night fucking lots of twinks. He could bet his life on it. He would never believe that he was the last man Brian had been with. They talked about mundane things like how work was going and how beautiful Paris was. They talked about Gus and the gang. Brian just did not want to let go of his voice. After two hours of not saying anything that needed to be said Brian decided to end the call. 

 

"Justin this is costing me a fortune and it is late. So I will call you later in the week. I have a big client in so it maybe late before I call."Brian was trying to find away to not hang up. 

 

"That is ok Brian. Anytime. If I am not here leave a message and I will call you back." Justin was waiting to see if he would say it. He did not want to be the first one to say it but he also did not want to end the call without saying it. 

 

"I love you Justin." Brian said before hanging up the phone. He did not wait for Justin to say it back. 

 

The months passed fast and before either man knew it four months had gone by. The phone calls that had started out as once or twice a week had become a nightly thing. They talked about everything. They were closer now than they had ever been. Justin had told Brian how he had not been with anyone since he left Pittsburg. Brian had finally admitted to the same thing. Justin had started to ask Brian to come to Paris. He missed him so much. 

 

Justin entered his apartment after a long day at work. He felt something was strange about the place. He just couldn't put his finger on it. Then as he entered the kitchen he knew it was the smell in the apartment. It was a distinctive smell. It smelled of Brian Kinney. Like aftershave and big red gum. Like cigarettes and whiskey. Like sex and sweat. He knew his mind must be playing tricks on him. Why would his apartment smell like Brian? He went through every room looking for Brian. He knew he wouldn't find him but he could still hope. 

 

Brian had been following Justin for 2 days before he went to his apartment. He just wanted to make sure that Justin was ok. He still called him every night from his cellphone so that Justin would not be suspicious. He knew he either had to go to him or go home. No one knew he was here. He just decided in the middle of the night and took the first flight out. 

 

Justin jumped at the sound of knocking on the door. He did not know who would be at his door at midnight. He opened it and his heart stopped. Standing there in front of him was the one man who he had ever loved. Brian Kinney. He just stood there speechless for what seemed like days. Brian broke the silence. 

 

"Well aren't you going to invite me in?" Justin stepped back to allow Brian entrance to the room. Brian looked around the apartment he had been in just a few short hours ago. It looked different with Justin in it. It was more beautiful. Justin had added his artistic touch to it. The furniture had beautiful lines and there was Justin's art everywhere you looked. Brian had seen the painting of them over Justin's bed and could not wait to see it from the bed. 

 

"Brian were you here earlier? I swear I smelt you in here when I got home. I thought I was hallucinating." Justin crossed the room to Brian and jumped in his arms and kissed him so passionately that they fell to the floor. Brian was laughing when he asked "Miss me did you?" Justin looked at him with such intensity. "Whatever gave you that idea? Just because I cant get you out of my mind and I end up painting you every night from memory or that I dreamt you being here so many times that when I smelt you in here tonight I thought I had finally cracked. Damn right I missed you Brian Kinney. And now that you are here I am not letting you go." He pulled Brian to him for another kiss. 

 

Brian gave himself over to the feelings he had and just kissed the young man who had made him believe in love again. A half hour later Brian suggested they move off the floor and Justin took his hand and led him to the bedroom. Brian did not protest. He let himself be led to Justin's bedroom. He let himself be loved by Justin. He could not stop now if he tried. He was too far gone. He was too deeply in love. He knew that there was no turning back and that no matter the cost he was not leaving Paris without the man he loved. He would call the office and have all his accounts sent here. He was not letting Justin slip out of his life. He had decided that he wanted this above all else. There was nothing more important than what he had with Justin and he would spend forever proving that to himself and Justin. 

 

Brian looked at Justin sleeping and thought how lucky he was to have this man in his life. He wished they could always be this happy. He leaned in and kissed the soft blonde hair and whispered "I love you Justin Taylor. For Better or Worse. I will do everything I can to make you happy. You make me complete. Without you I have nothing. I love you Justin." He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep never knowing Justin had heard all he just said. Justin smiled to himself and whispered back. "I love you too Brian Kinney. Forever."


End file.
